Learning to Manage Emotions
At a conference years ago, one of my mentors said something that hit me right in the heart (in a good way). Not only have I never forgotten it, I’ve also taught it to all the people who have heard me speak:
One of the foundational characteristics of a great leader is learning how to manage emotions.
I’d had to learn it for myself – after making some terrible mistakes with my choices in reactions – but mostly I recognized the importance of this statement because it had been exemplified very subtly by the people I revere.
Every single one of the mentors and coaches I have had through the years have shared one strong characteristic: They handled things with grace, no matter what.
Under pressure? They assess the situation and don’t freak out. They triage the issue and seize the opportunity to find the solution in the moment.
Being provoked? They choose the high road and rise above it, at the same time giving whoever and whatever is provoking them grace and mercy.
Big change in their plans and goals? The ask ‘what is the lesson I am learning here and what opportunity is coming for me next?’ The live very intentionally but are also flexible.
Not seeing the results of their labor as fast as they’d hoped? They have chosen faith over fear and truly know that God has their back and the ultimate game plan.
As someone who learns by watching, I am very observant, especially when it comes to watching how people handle themselves. I am honored that I even though I am a work in progress, these people have shown me the power of choosing my emotion.
These 5 tips will help you on your journey to managing emotion effectively:
Managing emotion does not mean shutting off real feelings. Instead, it is learning to choose when and how to work through your emotions, not instantly reacting.
Most negative emotions are born from the ego driving our life. Can you be honest enough with yourself to be aware of that and not act on it?
The majority of issues resolve themselves without ever having to act on them. Sit on your hands if you have to, but don’t send that email or text for a couple of days.
Usually it is not the situation that is causing the emotion. It is only a trigger to some baggage we are carrying around and no one is to blame.
Learning this is tapping into a higher power within yourself where you show up as your higher self, full of love, forgiveness, and grace!
When you begin to manage your emotions easily you’ll truly become the leader you’ve always wanted to be.
